I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
