I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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