I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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