Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
