No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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