I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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