Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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