My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
