Sry I called you an 8
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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