butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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