well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
