I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
