YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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