if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
