Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
