Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I love you. Go after that dick
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
