Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
