life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
