So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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