You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i would punch a child for taco bell
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
