I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
