sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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