I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
