better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
