A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
