thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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