she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
