His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
two words: eviction party
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
