Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
