So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
