It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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