We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
