i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
