Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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