even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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