I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
