yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Actions speak louder than pants.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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