Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
