I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
