Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Congratulations! We have a period
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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