found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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