id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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