So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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