she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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