He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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