Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
