We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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