Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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