Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
