Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
